QueerGirlQuestions

Advice and inspiration for your Queer Self from a queer therapist/relationship expert.

Check the FAQ before asking a question please.

<3, Cat

@queergirlquestions on Instagram

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Posts tagged "lgbtqi"

I got this question in my ask box and thought I’d put it out to everyone. I think that there are many different answers to this question depending on who you are and how you experience the Queer community. I’d love to have a variety of responses for this QgQ reader from a variety of Queers.

“ok so im a lesbian. but i feel like im limiting myself in a way. genderqueer people and non binary, like its all very interesting but sometimes i feel like the queer culture makes me feel guilty for not expanding my horizons. i know this sounds horrible, but i feel like people who are genderqueer or trans feel like they’re better than lesbians/gays. idk maybe im just reading into it, but we all identify as lgbtq, shouldn’t we just get along?

What did you think of Jodi Foster’s speech?

Who would you give one of these hearts to? Can you make your own and do just that?

What kinds of compliments can you give to yourself and others today?

(via healthwellnessguru)

Sure thing! Good luck with your paper…

to-causing-gay-commotion submitted toqueergirlquestions

Survey about sexual orientation

Hi there! I love your blog! I was wondering if you’d be able to help me out with something… I’m currently writing a paper for a sociology class, and need people to answer my survey. My topic is Nature vs. Nurture as it pertains to homosexuality. If you could put the world out there, I’d really appreciate it! Thank you!

http://freeonlinesurveys.com/s.asp?sid=wha6wv7f70uk3wu138700

Rituals to honor the people we love, who have died, can help us feel connected to them and to each other. Rituals can be a powerful way to honor ourselves, our feelings and our loved ones.
What can you do to honor yourself and your loved ones today?

This question was answered by a guest QgQ contributer Pilar Dellano, who is an excellent therapist in San Francisco.

A little about Pilar:

Pilar is an often confounded relationship haver,

a rarely reserved relationship blogger,

and an always excited relationship therapist.

Pilar has her own blog, as well, which you can read here: lonelyforever.wordpress.com

Anonymous asked you:

I finally asked out a girl I’ve had feelings for since about a year ago, but now I have no idea what to do with the relationship. We both want to take it slow but I have no idea what that means! I’m a planner, though. I’m going to ask her the next time I see her (in a week or so) a few questions to help define how we’re going to go about this. Am I on the right track? What else can I do to not mess up my first relationship ever?? Please help!!

First of all, congratulations on asking this girl out. If you’ve liked her for a year - I know it had to take guts. Next, take a deep breath!

Have you heard the saying that we are human beings, and not human doings? It’s true! The less you “do” in this relationship, the better. Ask yourself how you can allow yourself to BE exactly where you are, as you are, in this very moment -(Which might be scared, happy, confused, excited, anxious and so on!)

Relationships aren’t something that we can set reminders for in our iCals. We have to let people love us for who we are not for what we do.

You are definitely on the right track in talking to your girl. By now, I’m guessing you have more answers than when you wrote in to us. I hope you’re asking yourself some questions too: What do you want? What does “taking it slow” look like for you?

I have a couple of friends for whom taking it slow meant waiting until the 2nd month to move in together. Other folks have agreements about how often to see each other or about waiting a certain amount of time before things get physical.

Now let’s talk about messiness! I love a Magic Eraser as much as the next gal, but all the Tide, Bounty paper towels, and Swiffers in the universe, aren’t going to take away the inherent messy, chaotic and unknowable nature of our partnerships. It’s what makes them delightfully wonderful and heart wrenching at the same time.

Your best insurance against messiness is to expect it and to confront the part of you that is afraid of it. I know you can do this because you already faced your fears and asked this girl out! Even if you guys don’t end up sharing a porch swing at the sunset of your lives, it doesn’t mean you failed. You will have learned something about yourself and that’s real success, in my book.

Good luck!