Happy is tough. I don’t know anyone who has that happy feeling all the time. Content is another thing all together.
Start writing. Write down your deepest wishes for your life. Do you want to travel? Where? Do you want to be a pilot? Why? Do you want to learn to tell the future or read tarot cards? Sing at a kareoke club? Learn hip-hop dancing or ballet? Go snorkling? (It’s ok if your list includes things that involve a partner, like “house with picket fence, Ellen as my partner, and two kids.” Write those things, too, but also include things that don’t involve a partner.) This list is about what you want. This list involves things that could happen and have the potential to contribute to your contentedness.
Next, start a list of things you love… smell of coffee in the am, petting the neighbors dog, getting a mani/pedi, reading a magazine on a rainy day… These are things you already have that have the potential to contribute to your contentedness.
Lastly, make a list of why you are amazing. Please do not leave anything out. If you are stumped, ask your friends/family. Put down things like: good listener, great heart, loves animals, honest about feelings etc. What does it feel like to focus on your own amazingness?
Happiness and contentedness come from feeling peaceful about who you are, what you have in your everyday life, and where you are going. With the information you got from these lists, are there any areas which could use some more help? Was it hard to dream big for yourself? Was it tough to list the small everyday comforts? What about writing down reasons why you’re amazing?
Read over your lists often. Add to them or remake them as needed. Talk about them with friends. Do you need to take any actions to increase some part of your list? If you take a ballet class, do ballet shoes get added to the list of things you love? Does “adventurous” or “great dancer” or “fast learner” get added to the list about why you are awesome?
You are an evolving, changing, fantastic, amazing human being, even if you don’t feel it. Take some time to write. This action will show the doubtful part of yourself, just how big you can dream, how lovely your life can be everyday, and how unique you are.
Best of luck,