i’m a freshman in college and completely out for the first time. i met this amazingly cute girl on the first day who’s also queer, and we’ve been hanging out a lot in a friendship context, mostly within a group of people. i really really like her, but i’m not really getting vibes that she likes me back - i feel like she’s into this other girl. i feel like this girl is my only chance at having a girlfriend in college. my school doesn’t exactly have a lot of queer girls. what am i supposed to do?

 

Hi! It can be hard to figure out friendship and dating in the queer world, especially when you’re in a new context like college. It seems you might need to be brave and tell this girl how you feel in order to get some clarity from her.  You can wait longer and see if it becomes obvious, but it sounds like you’ve been doing this for a while and need to know.  I just want to reassure you, regardless of what happens, there will be other chances for having a girlfriend in college if it doesn’t work out with this gal. You have put a lot of pressure on this situation which can’t feel good. Even if there’s not a big queer community, there is always more than one option. You will continue to meet queers at your school and in the surrounding community as time passes. Try to relax, take the pressure off yourself, and see how this all unfolds. Good luck!  Maya

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