Anonymous asked:

Hey. So, to start off with, I came out as bisexual two and half years ago, and during that time, I never felt right when I was dating men. A few months after coming out, I had an extremely bad experience with a male, and came out as lesbian. I have tried dating men since coming out and I never seem to get that connection I get with a girl. The odd thing is though, is that I have this idea of being with a man and having children etc. Do you have any advice? Thank you, so very much.

Hi! I can promise you that what you’re struggling with is very common and normal. It is not odd at all to have an idea about living a hetero life with a man and kids even though you’re only interested in being with women. You have spent your entire life absorbing images and stories about heterosexual bliss being your destiny. You can’t expect yourself to immediately lose all identification with these stories just because you’re a lesbian. My advice is to do what feels true for you, and not to stress about the ideas that you’re holding on to. It is a very big adjustment to imagine a life with a woman. You might find it helpful to watch lesbian movies, read lesbian novels, etc. to try to start imagining a life that fits you better. Also keep in mind that if you want a family you can do that with a woman partner as well. Nothing is closed to you because you’re a lesbian, but it might take some more work and creativity to find the path that is right for you.

All my best to you!

Maya

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