QueerGirlQuestions

Jan 21

[video]

Jan 15

12 Types and Examples of Distorted Thinking -

We all can have “distorted thinking” sometimes. Below is a list of some different ways our thoughts can veer away from reality…

As you read through this list, and identify some ways your thinking may be “distorted” from time to time, think about ways you can bring yourself back. Does it help to check in with a friend about your thoughts? If you constantly think about “worst case scenarios” can you try to balance that out with “best case scenarios” when you catch yourself catastrophizing?

psych-facts:

Mind Reading - Unlike having a healthy theory of mind, mind reading is when you make assumptions about what somebody is thinking or feeling despite contrary or lack of supporting evidence. In actuality, you’re possibly delusional or paranoid.

Catastrophize - when you over… READ MORE HERE

Jan 14

[video]

Dec 17

Anonymous asked you:
What does ‘queer’ actually mean? I was told it meant eccentric, and now I’m being told it might mean gay but maybe it’s something else and I just don’t know. So yeah, what does Queer mean?
In general, people use this term to mean “not straight,” not heterosexual, not heteronormative. The word used to mean “strange,” and then was used in a negative way to describe people who were thought to be gay. Many activists in the 1990’s decided to to reclaim the word—and began to use it to describe themselves. Read more here. 

Anonymous asked: I have a random question-kisses on the first date? Do or don't? Sometimes I feel its too forward/soon other times I think they'll think the date didnt go well if I don't. Also, kiss on the cheek? Is that too platonic and dorky?

Every date is different just like every girl is different, and it’s great that you can tell that sometimes it seems too forward/too soon. If that’s the feeling, you may want to follow that instinct. In general, though, it’s nice to ask, and a lot of people ask before kissing for the first time. A kiss on the cheek can also be really sweet. Follow your instincts on this one…

Best of luck, 

Cat

Anonymous asked: Hey Cat, I have a bit of a dilemma. Recently I met this girl I had been crushing on for a bit. We hung out one night&got along. I couldn't really read if she was into me or not though. Anyways, the next day, I posted via twitter that I got a new phone&jokingly wrote, "ask me for my number." She then favourited that post. This made me think maybe she wanted my number. So I sent it to her but haven't heard a THING! (it's been a week) Was this a bad idea? What are your thoughts? I'm freaking out.

Hi! I think it’s GREAT that you sent her your number and it seems like you were actually very brave. Life in general, and dating specifically, is all about putting yourself out there. Sometimes people respond how we want them to, and sometimes they don’t. But if they don’t respond in the way we want them to, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you…it means that the person/situation isn’t right for you…But you wont ever know unless you ask the question. Or give the number. Or make the move. So nice work. 

It’s also really normal to feel vulnerable and unsure after taking a step like that if you aren’t getting the response you want. Just remember that no matter how she responds, YOU are courageous and amazing just for putting yourself out there. 

Here’s what’s tricky about social media, email, texting etc… it’s hard to decode. There are sites and forums specifically geared toward decoding texts because they can be confusing. So you are right… her “liking” could have been a request for your number, but it could have just been a “like” that you got a new phone. In general, if a person is ever confused about the meaning of a text, email etc, or if there is potential for feelings to be misinterpreted, then a phone call or in-person convo is better. Just a tip for the future…when it comes to dating/flirting, if you’re ever unclear, try waiting until you see her again to give her your number or ask her to hang out. 

Best of luck, 

Cat

Anonymous asked: Im falling for this girl who is dating someone else long distance, Her smile lights up the entire room, shrn i first saw it is when i started falling for her. Should i just leave the situation alone?

It’s totally normal to have crushes and feelings for people who are involved with someone else. It happens all the time. The question you are asking is about what to DO with the situation.

This is one of those times when the best action is no action. Sometimes it can feel like having a crush means we have to BE with that person. But it’s ok to have feelings for someone and not ever do anything about it, especially under circumstances like these. 

I often advocate taking actions when we have crushy feelings because if we don’t put ourselves out there, we will have fewer chances to love, and to be loved. But in this case, I think it’s better to leave it alone. 

When a person is partnered with another, they have made a decision. And if you really think she is an amazing girl, then respect the choice she has made. If she ever becomes single again, wait a little while, and THEN tell her about your feelings. 

In the meantime, if your feelings for her are getting overwhelming, then try spending less time with her and spend more time with single friends or doing other things. Focus on yourself, your own interests and finding someone who is available. There will be a girl who is everything you want, and available for dating, too. Go find her.